#171 - Time keeps on slipping...into the future.

Well, it's only a matter of just a few more days (10 to be exact) before we're winging it around the world for the big Indian wedding.  Followed by a lifelong desire to go to Japan, and we're going. No, really.  This is a true "around the world" trip - always moving east till we return home.

Today, as I fight a cold, I'm working on packing (where we have weight limitations for inter-India flights) and making decision on saree blouses that will be made for me in India, so I'm choosing fabrics based on little images on my computer screen. It's kind of crazy, but that's what we're doing.  It's like playing telephone on internet based apps.  My niece is chatting with her father there, and he relays pictures to her and her to me.  I have to hold up this saree to see what I think matches and what I like.  And maybe I'll really not like it when I see it (and hopefully it will actually FIT when I see it) in about 2 weeks from now.  Hey, as long as I have clothes for the 3 days of wedding events, I'll be happy.

Then there's the "what gifts can I bring from here" for the bride's family, and for my niece's parents doing so much work.  AND then the "let's plan the next trip in March" already underway.  It's really quite mind-boggling.

The youngest went home yesterday, and the oldest let us know that he's seeing someone.  That's been a minute for sure.

And the more things change, the more history keeps repeating itself.  Just keeping in mind that the sun always rises in the morning.  At least it has historically in my lifetime.

Off to do all the things I need to before we shove off.

#170 Writing time again

That's the thing about being a writer.  You have to actually WRITE.

I'm pretty stoked about a bunch of free upcoming workshops I've signed up for.  AND trying to decide if I want to spend some Vault Goddess gifts for a class early next year.  It would be probably a very valuable thing to do, and my two Team Angouleme pals may do it with me.

I know this needs doing.  I just have to stop thinking about it and do - daily and in depth.

Now, off to do some script reviewing thanks to that pal who kicks my butt about it!

#169 - Reunions

Yesterday was such a wondrous day.

My brother and a lot of his mishpocha were here, including my oldest niece, who I haven't seen in 22 years.  It was a glorious reunion.  I don't think I've hugged someone so very deeply in a very, VERY long time.

She mentioned several times how much she's missed her grandma (the Vault Goddess). Since she flew in to drive back to her home via SoCal with my brother and his wife (her mom), I gave her one of my two sewing machines (there were both from my mom).  And was thrilled to pass on a storage box that had belonged to her grandma, the Vault Goddess, that was filled with Indian print clothing.  So thrilled to pass it all on to her.

I don't know when I'll see her again; wish she could come to the big Indian Wedding in 2 months, but not sure that's going to come to pass.  There is much history with one who is so talented, and yet is so twisted into the religion that she was born into (which is not mine), it's hard to see how she can touch reality.

Still, it was something I'm going to remember for a long time.  Reunions can be both sweet and intensely sad when the parting comes.

What was that quote again?  "A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again."  

I sure do hope those hello's are in the future. I'm going to count on another reunion.

#168 - Curses, foiled again

Whelp, that's another one in the books, or in this case, in the recycling pile.

Didn't get a part I was really hoping for.  Guess theatre keeps rearing it's ugly dangling carrot in front of me.  Saturday will be another potential, which will likely amount to another "FUVM" in the end.  I know, I know, keep the hope alive, because you never know.

It's hard, no matter how often it happens, to be rejected.  It's one of the things I always detested about the theatrical life. And perhaps I should just get used to it and remind myself that "everything is unfolding exactly as it should."

On another note, what a delightful lunch today with my screenwriting Chez Loraine pal, who is alternately my muse, mentor, and all around coach, constantly kicking my butt in gear to remind me to keep on writing.  Which is the point of this blog now, isn't it?

Yup, life is just so daily...

 

#167 - Inside and Out

I just had a small epiphany.  I realize that I'm often pretty sure of myself on the inside, but not the outside.  With my home, it seems exactly the opposite.  And even more so now.

We've just completed a laundry list of exterior "curb appeal" improvements.  The front (with the exception of my poor little Malus, which I think was planted and bermed up a bit too high by the original landscaper, and isn't a happy camper these days) looks really, REALLY good.  And the back, in spite of it being a messy, weedy "habitat" as my dear gardening friend declared, still has lots of successes in it.  

Oh, but the inside...Yes, I can use the "excess of family material" excuse.  But really, it's not where I want it to be.  I want to actualize my exceptional home.  The one filled with uniqueness all it's own.  NOT cluttter.  And that's what it seems to have a lot of.

Kinda like my body.  There's a uniqueness to my inner self:  artist, writer, actor, creative being.  But the outside?  That really belies what's inside.

I think if I can merge and purge, maybe I'll become the woman I've always been - both inside and out.

Now, back to the house cleaning...inside.

#166 - Get your kicks on...

Ok, here we try again.

I'm "on my own" for 10 days now, and I feel a bit directionless.  I have "all the tools" but can't seem to get the focus in place to accomplish a lot.  I really believed I should be able to "leap tall buildings in a single bound" but so far, no good.

I did try and map out on spreadsheet everything I hoped I could do.  I also feel quite a bit solitary.  I've somehow lost my sense of community.  If I could get a social hobby of some kind going, I might feel differently.  Or perhaps just dig into the writing.

That's a bit of this, for sure.  And yes, lots has been accomplished over the past month.

I remind myself:  Breathe.  Close your eyes.  Focus on your intention.  And ask the question "what do I want?"  And the answer should come to me when I really need it.

That's the plan.

#165 - And away we went

Well, the best of intentions...

I was hoping to write during our trip, but this was as far as I got:

Here we are in beautiful Victoria BC staying with friends in their amazing home.  They’ve lived here as long as we’ve lived in our home, but they have really touched and renovated 

Yup.  That's an incomplete sentence alright. 

Our trip was glorious, but the beginning was a jolt.  A call with a big "C" diagnosis. Luckily for us, there was nothing to be done until we were scheduled to be back, so we did have a wonderful and glorious 3 weeks on the road visiting friends, family, vacation spots, natural beauty and some wonderful hotel stays in between staying with friends and family.

And now, we fight the good fight, and pray for the ability to travel internationally later this year.

Every best hope for a speedy recovery for my love. 

#164 - The longest day(s)

It will be interesting to see what descriptors emerge for these past 4 months.  History doesn't lie.

In other news, let's keep this about ourself, shall we?

I DID get a placement in a screenplay competition (ok, well it was just a quarterfinal spot, but you gotta start somewhere).  You also gotta write to enter these things, and I have not been doing much of that.  One more competition to hear from and then it's gotta be back to actually doing the work, not just thinking about it, dreaming about it and wanting to make it happen.  You really have to make it happen; it doesn't just materialize from thin air, does it?

Lots of idea jumbling around in the head, but the important one is that I have to get back to finish my first script.  And then I can make it a continuing series, or at least a second feature after the first one.  The longest journey begins with a single step, right?

I have spend the better part of the last few months doing lots and lots of collage.  I bought the actual Paris Collage Collective book, so I would make sure that I didn't waste the money and actually complete the challenges each week. I'm batting 1,000 on that one so far.  Then, I followed up with Februllage, which led into a really great challenge, the Artful Memories Challenge.  Instead of individual word prompts, there were complete sentences as prompts, using vintage photographs.  Quite insightful and interesting.

That and a blitz of Imperial Man sales, then lulls as it's work, and I was doing "other" work.

Oh, and theatre.  Yes, I acted in a staged reading (actually two of them) and directed one, which I loved doing and yet felt I really blew it because I didn't stay for a talkback/Q&A and I should have.  It's still bothering me that I did that.  However, fingers crossed a theatre may pick it up as a full production. Time will tell.

So now, I feel I really, REALLY need to put together a website, that has my writing, acting and art in one place.  Is that crazy to think about a one-stop shop?  Not sure.

Lots of other family drama, but we'll save that for another day.

#163 - The worm is about to turn

Well, only a fortnight between posts.  That is, as long as I get this one down before midnight.

During that time?  My oldest is firmly mid-30.  My oldest nephew is now living closer to us than ever before.  Armageddon seems to be have engulfed (pun unfortunately intended) Los Angeles, with the most horrific fires one could never imagine (and yet, some did, like Octavia Butler).  Working on my new vision board, and getting ready to pause the Imperial Man's stash while I jet off to the East Coast for a very chilly/cold/possibly snowy visit with my dearest friend and youngest one. Getting feedback (but no placements so far) in the screenplay competitions I've been working on.  And trying to gear up and get back into collage (not college - that's long done).

What a difference 2 small weeks can make.

And....

Take a deep breath.  The felon is coming.

#162 - Getting to be a habit

Happy Fri-yeah!

I'm happy to report I kicked myself in the butt and did manage to eek out a collage for the weekly Paris Collage Collective challenge.  As I said in my insta post, "after all, Februllage is less than a month away!"

Now, this is part of the daily writing challenge.  I did manage to try and do a bit of cinematic tweaking to my pilot episode last evening, and I do need to make a decision on entering one more screenwriting competition with that last script.

Trying to make sure I develop these good habits. Like getting the PT exercises out of the way first thing this morning (instead of waiting until 11 pm and realizing I've done none of them yet!).

I want to make the things that will help with my word of this year - Transformation - by developing those good habits.

No time like the present!

#161 - What are you doing the rest of your life?

The west and north and east and south of your life?  

Is that how the lyrics went for that song (boy, I'm getting up there in the years, aren't I?).

So, let's make this a daily habit. At least that's what the cards told me to do.  It was lovely to get another reading from my spiritual advisor/medium/friend who is so talented at the read. And the culmination of the reading, which was awesome, is that I am the emperor of my domain and I need to write each and every day.

So, let us begin.

(Hey, no one said it needed to be a lot that I wrote...)

#160 - Start at the very beginning

Another year in the books.  I'm happy to be on the other side of the weirdness that accompanies the last two weeks of the year.  Cram the Xmas Holiday down your throat, the "year in review" and no one seems to know what to do with themselves between those two days, until after "today."

The first. January 1st.  Kickoff to another year (in the year 2025...  no that song was in the year 2525. Only 500 more years to go there). 

I thought I should try and do the daily journaling here.  In the Vault.  So much to do, so little time.

This next week is choc-full of things.  As is the rest of the month.

For ME, I'm waiting on the feedback on my short which, as expected, did not make the short list in one competition. I found out I won't get that feedback until after the deadline for the next competition I want to enter. Two more to hear from this month from entries already submitted.  So. if I want to enter the other contest, I have to submit the script as is, unless I want to reframe the script, made it into a feature, change things or?  I don't think I want to do that.  At least, not now. I want to put the energy into new work (and getting back to the first script).  Still possible that the production company this was sent to is considering it, but I have no idea when I'll hear on that.

And now, I must jump into a daily collage habit as well, since I made the big purchase of the Paris Collage Collective workbook for the year.

At least, the New Year's Eve party with a new group for the hoodies was fun and enjoyable and full of laughter and new and old friends (in a petite gathering).

Ah, the first.  So much promise.  Until we realize that a good portion of the inhabitants on this little blue ball are starving, trying to avoid annihilation, all while oligarchs and idiotic politicians worldwide foist more chaos on the masses.  And we are almost completely powerless.

A lovely way to start, isn't it?  Must do what I can to bring light into the world.

Welcome, 2025.  Come on in and bring it.