#171 - Time keeps on slipping...into the future.

Well, it's only a matter of just a few more days (10 to be exact) before we're winging it around the world for the big Indian wedding.  Followed by a lifelong desire to go to Japan, and we're going. No, really.  This is a true "around the world" trip - always moving east till we return home.

Today, as I fight a cold, I'm working on packing (where we have weight limitations for inter-India flights) and making decision on saree blouses that will be made for me in India, so I'm choosing fabrics based on little images on my computer screen. It's kind of crazy, but that's what we're doing.  It's like playing telephone on internet based apps.  My niece is chatting with her father there, and he relays pictures to her and her to me.  I have to hold up this saree to see what I think matches and what I like.  And maybe I'll really not like it when I see it (and hopefully it will actually FIT when I see it) in about 2 weeks from now.  Hey, as long as I have clothes for the 3 days of wedding events, I'll be happy.

Then there's the "what gifts can I bring from here" for the bride's family, and for my niece's parents doing so much work.  AND then the "let's plan the next trip in March" already underway.  It's really quite mind-boggling.

The youngest went home yesterday, and the oldest let us know that he's seeing someone.  That's been a minute for sure.

And the more things change, the more history keeps repeating itself.  Just keeping in mind that the sun always rises in the morning.  At least it has historically in my lifetime.

Off to do all the things I need to before we shove off.

#170 Writing time again

That's the thing about being a writer.  You have to actually WRITE.

I'm pretty stoked about a bunch of free upcoming workshops I've signed up for.  AND trying to decide if I want to spend some Vault Goddess gifts for a class early next year.  It would be probably a very valuable thing to do, and my two Team Angouleme pals may do it with me.

I know this needs doing.  I just have to stop thinking about it and do - daily and in depth.

Now, off to do some script reviewing thanks to that pal who kicks my butt about it!

#169 - Reunions

Yesterday was such a wondrous day.

My brother and a lot of his mishpocha were here, including my oldest niece, who I haven't seen in 22 years.  It was a glorious reunion.  I don't think I've hugged someone so very deeply in a very, VERY long time.

She mentioned several times how much she's missed her grandma (the Vault Goddess). Since she flew in to drive back to her home via SoCal with my brother and his wife (her mom), I gave her one of my two sewing machines (there were both from my mom).  And was thrilled to pass on a storage box that had belonged to her grandma, the Vault Goddess, that was filled with Indian print clothing.  So thrilled to pass it all on to her.

I don't know when I'll see her again; wish she could come to the big Indian Wedding in 2 months, but not sure that's going to come to pass.  There is much history with one who is so talented, and yet is so twisted into the religion that she was born into (which is not mine), it's hard to see how she can touch reality.

Still, it was something I'm going to remember for a long time.  Reunions can be both sweet and intensely sad when the parting comes.

What was that quote again?  "A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again."  

I sure do hope those hello's are in the future. I'm going to count on another reunion.

#168 - Curses, foiled again

Whelp, that's another one in the books, or in this case, in the recycling pile.

Didn't get a part I was really hoping for.  Guess theatre keeps rearing it's ugly dangling carrot in front of me.  Saturday will be another potential, which will likely amount to another "FUVM" in the end.  I know, I know, keep the hope alive, because you never know.

It's hard, no matter how often it happens, to be rejected.  It's one of the things I always detested about the theatrical life. And perhaps I should just get used to it and remind myself that "everything is unfolding exactly as it should."

On another note, what a delightful lunch today with my screenwriting Chez Loraine pal, who is alternately my muse, mentor, and all around coach, constantly kicking my butt in gear to remind me to keep on writing.  Which is the point of this blog now, isn't it?

Yup, life is just so daily...

 

#167 - Inside and Out

I just had a small epiphany.  I realize that I'm often pretty sure of myself on the inside, but not the outside.  With my home, it seems exactly the opposite.  And even more so now.

We've just completed a laundry list of exterior "curb appeal" improvements.  The front (with the exception of my poor little Malus, which I think was planted and bermed up a bit too high by the original landscaper, and isn't a happy camper these days) looks really, REALLY good.  And the back, in spite of it being a messy, weedy "habitat" as my dear gardening friend declared, still has lots of successes in it.  

Oh, but the inside...Yes, I can use the "excess of family material" excuse.  But really, it's not where I want it to be.  I want to actualize my exceptional home.  The one filled with uniqueness all it's own.  NOT cluttter.  And that's what it seems to have a lot of.

Kinda like my body.  There's a uniqueness to my inner self:  artist, writer, actor, creative being.  But the outside?  That really belies what's inside.

I think if I can merge and purge, maybe I'll become the woman I've always been - both inside and out.

Now, back to the house cleaning...inside.

#166 - Get your kicks on...

Ok, here we try again.

I'm "on my own" for 10 days now, and I feel a bit directionless.  I have "all the tools" but can't seem to get the focus in place to accomplish a lot.  I really believed I should be able to "leap tall buildings in a single bound" but so far, no good.

I did try and map out on spreadsheet everything I hoped I could do.  I also feel quite a bit solitary.  I've somehow lost my sense of community.  If I could get a social hobby of some kind going, I might feel differently.  Or perhaps just dig into the writing.

That's a bit of this, for sure.  And yes, lots has been accomplished over the past month.

I remind myself:  Breathe.  Close your eyes.  Focus on your intention.  And ask the question "what do I want?"  And the answer should come to me when I really need it.

That's the plan.

#165 - And away we went

Well, the best of intentions...

I was hoping to write during our trip, but this was as far as I got:

Here we are in beautiful Victoria BC staying with friends in their amazing home.  They’ve lived here as long as we’ve lived in our home, but they have really touched and renovated 

Yup.  That's an incomplete sentence alright. 

Our trip was glorious, but the beginning was a jolt.  A call with a big "C" diagnosis. Luckily for us, there was nothing to be done until we were scheduled to be back, so we did have a wonderful and glorious 3 weeks on the road visiting friends, family, vacation spots, natural beauty and some wonderful hotel stays in between staying with friends and family.

And now, we fight the good fight, and pray for the ability to travel internationally later this year.

Every best hope for a speedy recovery for my love. 

#164 - The longest day(s)

It will be interesting to see what descriptors emerge for these past 4 months.  History doesn't lie.

In other news, let's keep this about ourself, shall we?

I DID get a placement in a screenplay competition (ok, well it was just a quarterfinal spot, but you gotta start somewhere).  You also gotta write to enter these things, and I have not been doing much of that.  One more competition to hear from and then it's gotta be back to actually doing the work, not just thinking about it, dreaming about it and wanting to make it happen.  You really have to make it happen; it doesn't just materialize from thin air, does it?

Lots of idea jumbling around in the head, but the important one is that I have to get back to finish my first script.  And then I can make it a continuing series, or at least a second feature after the first one.  The longest journey begins with a single step, right?

I have spend the better part of the last few months doing lots and lots of collage.  I bought the actual Paris Collage Collective book, so I would make sure that I didn't waste the money and actually complete the challenges each week. I'm batting 1,000 on that one so far.  Then, I followed up with Februllage, which led into a really great challenge, the Artful Memories Challenge.  Instead of individual word prompts, there were complete sentences as prompts, using vintage photographs.  Quite insightful and interesting.

That and a blitz of Imperial Man sales, then lulls as it's work, and I was doing "other" work.

Oh, and theatre.  Yes, I acted in a staged reading (actually two of them) and directed one, which I loved doing and yet felt I really blew it because I didn't stay for a talkback/Q&A and I should have.  It's still bothering me that I did that.  However, fingers crossed a theatre may pick it up as a full production. Time will tell.

So now, I feel I really, REALLY need to put together a website, that has my writing, acting and art in one place.  Is that crazy to think about a one-stop shop?  Not sure.

Lots of other family drama, but we'll save that for another day.

#163 - The worm is about to turn

Well, only a fortnight between posts.  That is, as long as I get this one down before midnight.

During that time?  My oldest is firmly mid-30.  My oldest nephew is now living closer to us than ever before.  Armageddon seems to be have engulfed (pun unfortunately intended) Los Angeles, with the most horrific fires one could never imagine (and yet, some did, like Octavia Butler).  Working on my new vision board, and getting ready to pause the Imperial Man's stash while I jet off to the East Coast for a very chilly/cold/possibly snowy visit with my dearest friend and youngest one. Getting feedback (but no placements so far) in the screenplay competitions I've been working on.  And trying to gear up and get back into collage (not college - that's long done).

What a difference 2 small weeks can make.

And....

Take a deep breath.  The felon is coming.

#162 - Getting to be a habit

Happy Fri-yeah!

I'm happy to report I kicked myself in the butt and did manage to eek out a collage for the weekly Paris Collage Collective challenge.  As I said in my insta post, "after all, Februllage is less than a month away!"

Now, this is part of the daily writing challenge.  I did manage to try and do a bit of cinematic tweaking to my pilot episode last evening, and I do need to make a decision on entering one more screenwriting competition with that last script.

Trying to make sure I develop these good habits. Like getting the PT exercises out of the way first thing this morning (instead of waiting until 11 pm and realizing I've done none of them yet!).

I want to make the things that will help with my word of this year - Transformation - by developing those good habits.

No time like the present!

#161 - What are you doing the rest of your life?

The west and north and east and south of your life?  

Is that how the lyrics went for that song (boy, I'm getting up there in the years, aren't I?).

So, let's make this a daily habit. At least that's what the cards told me to do.  It was lovely to get another reading from my spiritual advisor/medium/friend who is so talented at the read. And the culmination of the reading, which was awesome, is that I am the emperor of my domain and I need to write each and every day.

So, let us begin.

(Hey, no one said it needed to be a lot that I wrote...)

#160 - Start at the very beginning

Another year in the books.  I'm happy to be on the other side of the weirdness that accompanies the last two weeks of the year.  Cram the Xmas Holiday down your throat, the "year in review" and no one seems to know what to do with themselves between those two days, until after "today."

The first. January 1st.  Kickoff to another year (in the year 2025...  no that song was in the year 2525. Only 500 more years to go there). 

I thought I should try and do the daily journaling here.  In the Vault.  So much to do, so little time.

This next week is choc-full of things.  As is the rest of the month.

For ME, I'm waiting on the feedback on my short which, as expected, did not make the short list in one competition. I found out I won't get that feedback until after the deadline for the next competition I want to enter. Two more to hear from this month from entries already submitted.  So. if I want to enter the other contest, I have to submit the script as is, unless I want to reframe the script, made it into a feature, change things or?  I don't think I want to do that.  At least, not now. I want to put the energy into new work (and getting back to the first script).  Still possible that the production company this was sent to is considering it, but I have no idea when I'll hear on that.

And now, I must jump into a daily collage habit as well, since I made the big purchase of the Paris Collage Collective workbook for the year.

At least, the New Year's Eve party with a new group for the hoodies was fun and enjoyable and full of laughter and new and old friends (in a petite gathering).

Ah, the first.  So much promise.  Until we realize that a good portion of the inhabitants on this little blue ball are starving, trying to avoid annihilation, all while oligarchs and idiotic politicians worldwide foist more chaos on the masses.  And we are almost completely powerless.

A lovely way to start, isn't it?  Must do what I can to bring light into the world.

Welcome, 2025.  Come on in and bring it.

#159 - The only constant in life is change

Wise words from a Greek philosopher (I believe the attribution is to Heraclitus of Ephesus).

Boy is a lot of change afoot.  We have less than 30 days before the change in our country, which will either make the masses rise up or be stomped upon.  Who the fuck knows what will happen, but we soldier on.

Awaiting word on several competitions I've entered, and am trying to continue to write, early and often (but not often enough, I think).  Acting in one staged reading has passed, another is forthcoming, and one I'm directing will be on that last one's heels.  Waiting to see what change may happen within my little family circle.  And the physical therapy (torture) on my left shoulder continues, but slowly it's getting better.  How much longer will it take? Time will tell.

And I did something to kickstart my return to collage (thanks to the Paris Collage Collective workbook for 2025).  Of course, Februllage is just around the corner too.  Trying to push myself back into a daily practice on that one.

We do have plans for travel brewing (domestically - we will wait to see what things will be like internationally before we plan more).

One of the biggest changes is that the Imperial Man's vault has been opened, catagorized, and is actively  e-baying out into the model railroad and diecast car world, slowly but surely.

Soon to begin working on my 2025 vision board.  Seeking the word for the year for myself;  it may be transformation.  That's what change is all about.

Will it continue to be true that the addage "the more things change, the more they stay the same?" Will that be the new constant, or the old constant?  I constantly wonder.

Let's see what the 2025 brings.

#158 - Pay no attention to what's behind that curtain...

 Welp, it's almost that time.  The day when we discover whether democracy lives or dies.

The US election has the world on edge, and tomorrow is d-day so to speak.  

There's not much more to say, we'll just see what comes next.

#157 - What have I done??

Welp, it's in full swing now.  More than seven years in the making.  No, there's no turning back now!

I have opened the pandora's box of the Imperial Man's vault.  Oh dear god, what an amazing stash and buried treasure there is. Lots disorganized (some of my own doing, since I packed some of these things and thought they were well packed for shipping, but not all of them were).  Cars, cars, cars, cars, CARS, and oh, did I mention there's lot of cars?  In every imaginable way:  1:12, 1:18, 1:24, 1:43, 1:83 scale.  Some boxed, a box of "ORIGINAL" 60's matchbox cars, hot wheels, and lots of large 1:18 scale diecast 40's, 50's and 60's model cars. Mini plastic models, resin models, parts, and then there's the HO scale kits of cars, trucks and buildings.   So much to go through. And I've unearthed some amazing ephermera treasure for my collaging practice.  Can't wait to start using some of these.

Ebay is a process, and yes, the listing and selling has begun - so far, everything on auctions, with an opening bid set at the minimum price I'd like to get for the item.  And I think we're through opening about half or more of the boxes. Now it's time to organize into "like" categories, learn how to properly box and ship (and we did get a new postal scale for accuracy), and I'm setting up systems to capture and collect all the information and $$$.

They say the smallest journey begins with a single step.  We'll I'm moving along, that's for sure.

The Vault Goddess's stash can't be far behind...

#156 - The polls have not yet decided on the name for this post

We are rounding the corner towards the 2024 US Election.  3 weeks away; no wait, that's TWO weeks away.

Yowza.

I am hopeful we will not be repeating Nazi Germany in 1933.

How it can even be a competition is beyond most reasonable people.

And yet - here we are.

I am awaiting word from my first born of where he'll be landing on this next step in his journey, or more specifically which apartment complex he'll be moving to, and in what East Bay location.  I just know it'll be on a BART line, and I am very happy he'll only be a 1-1/2 hour car ride away, instead of a 10 hour car ride.

So I turn my thoughts, words and deeds towards the constant creation of things.  And the possible purging of things.  We finally unearthed one of the Imperial Man's boxes of diecast car models.  Some are listed; only one so far has a bid on it, but it's still early.  It does feel good to have taken the journey that begins with a single step.

Transition and change is in the air.  Just hope the wind blows in the correct direction.

And so we wait.

#155 - What a day this has been, what a rare mood I'm in...

Well, now.  Today was something else, and it's not over yet.

I had finally made an appointment to see an Orthopedist for my sore arm (going on almost a year now).  The appointment was today.  Last Friday, I got a call from the office asking me to go for an X-ray before the appointment and they assured me Radiology opened at 7 am.

So I got up early, went to get gas, then Starbucks for coffee and a breakfast sandwich.  Got into X-ray promptly at 7 am, and I was going to go sit in my car to finish my coffee before my 8 am appointment.  Stepped outside and it was actually raining.  Not drizzling, but really raining!  I looked up at the sky and saw barely a cloud.  Lasted for about 5 minutes (and no, it didn't rain at my house, so score one for microclimates!).  Then I went to the doctor - really nice guy - and it is possible I may have a tear in my rotator cuff tendon, but the only way to confirm is with an MRI.  He puts in the order, but he recommends I not to use the heathcare system he/I are connected to ("it'll probably take 3 months for you to get in"), and instead, prints the order, recommends the Imaging place across the freeway (pretty close by), and hey, sometimes they might be able to get you in the same day.  And he tells me to ask for the disk of the films and bring that back to his office (they don't automatically send him the film).

I call the make an appointment, but they don't have an order in the system, so I tell them I'll just come over and hand in the paperwork to schedule something.  I'm filling out the papers and the reception tells me they have an opening today at 10:30 am, do I want that?  I'm thinking Heck Yeah!  So imagine - xrays, doctor visit and MRI all done by 11:30 am.  

Say What?

Now awaiting my script notes paid for last week.  We'll see what develops.

#154 - Overload

We have reached full capacity.  Back yesterday and wiped out wasn't enough to describe coming home.  I missed my husband, I missed my kitties (and they missed me too!), and even though the autumnal equinox was two weeks ago, the weather hasn't gotten the memo yet.

It was 106 degrees out when we returned from the airport mid-afternoon.  Loved coming home to a clean kitchen (thanks, hubs) and some cats happy to see me back home.  Didn't love coming back to the detrius leftovers from my friends old apartment, which is overcrowding my art space/garage.  I have much to do and clean, and tonight begins the Jewish new year.

I was distraught on the plane seeing news on CNN about Iran attacking Israel, and the continued fallout from Israel attacking Lebanon.  It's hard to reconcile the genocide Israel has been perpetrating since the slaughter of 1200 Jews almost a year ago. In light of Rosh Hashana, I'm having a crisis of faith of sorts. 

And all the while, thinking about the writing I want to finish, and the art I want to create, and the garden I want to thrive, and the being I want to be - i'm mentally overloaded.

It doesn't help that the temps over the next week are close to 100 and then keeping in the 80's for weeks to come.

I slept for nine hours last night.  I think I needed the recharge.

Now to offload some of the overload.  It'll be a start.

#153 - Does anybody really know what time it is?

I've been in the greater Boston area for five days now.  The first three nights to the west, the last two to the north. One lovely afternoon taking public transit to the awesome Map Room in the Boston Public Library for cocktails (yes, there actually IS a bar in the Boston Public Library).

We've had great tastes in many places in Belmont, Arlington, Watertown - all around my friend's new home.  We've also had some wonderful social gatherings with my youngest's friends/chosen family and my husband's relatives, in spite of the rain.  

Today is the Porchfest (rained out from yesterday) where we get to see my son's band playing live, followed by dinner in one of our favs in Cambridge.  Then, back to my friend's new home, where we await her belongings arriving mid-week from back on the other coast.  My husband will head back home in 2 days, but I'll stay on until the month changes.

I've had a mix of helping my friend get settled into her new digs, some re-writing of my short film script, and some watercoloring in the last two days.  But what time is it really?  Time to create?  Time to write?  Time to spend with my child and my friend?  Time to find a new, changed life? And what will the time be like when I'm back home, after a long year of varied travel, new abundant experiences, joy, tribulations, loss and routine?

It will be time to do.  Just what exactly, only time will tell.  At least I hope it will.

#152 - Reflections

This last weekend was my 50th high school reunion.  I didn't go. I went to my 30th, and once was enough for me.  I had very few lasting friendships in high school, and in spite of my theatrical background, I never performed in a show - only did readers' theatre and my own directorial special project for independent credit.  Still, I garnered the Wanda B. Mitchell Speech Arts Award (one of 2 or 4 who received the honor) for my contributions to the theatre department at ETHS.

I've seen lots of photos on social media from this weekend, and realize I know so few of these people.  Or perhaps it's my own lack of memory about those years, and the pain of being an outlier, one of those quiet socially awkward types who didn't garner long lasting friendships during those years.  Except for my two close friends, neither of who are connected on the alumni networks or social media at all (nor to myself anymore), I recall some names, but no real understanding of my connection to them. Or memories of those years.

Back to the present time, my best friend's big move is about to begin.  Her car is on it's way and will arrive at her home location tomorrow; the pod is on it's way and arrives in a week and half, and we arrive in two days.

I've been sorrowfully looking at my neglected garden - full of promise but not much to show except weeds, though actually some things HAVE grown, ripened and bloomed, and some of them aren't even weeds (or as my dear friend Katy would say, "habitat.").  Another year of potential that hasn't (due to so many days and weeks away) lived up to its promise, in spite of a plethora of sungold tomatoes.  I think my 2025 vision board needs to be more proactive on the garden oasis I want.

I have been doing lots of thinking and dreaming about films, and writing and screenplays.  I have so neglected my own things to put my dear sister/best friend front and center.  And the last big trip of this year (I think) will make it worthwhile.  We'll get to go to some great places, do some art, and I'll get to see my youngest.  It will be wonderful and when I get back, I will take some really deep breaths, and dig back into myself and my journey. 

Then, I will have to stop being so reflective, and become the active participant in my own life.

#151 - Two down, one to go

Ok, the inevitable "travel" has continued with a sorrowful event, followed two weeks later by a joyous one.  Some aspects of the same family who don't have any connection to each other but both have a connection to us, has made the entire thing sorta weird.  Two cousins with the same name - they're second cousins mind you - have met only once in their lives.  I got the east coast one to do a quick video birthday greeting to the west coast one, who responded by video in kind, both via me.

Next up on the travel parade is the big move for my best friend to her new "home to be" on the east coast in the Boston suburbs.  Yes, I have the chance to see her and my son for this trip and on each subsequent visit, but not likely before her grandchild arrives in the spring.  Yes, things are changing already.

I'm working on scripts, and have a staged reading of a play I'll be in, which will take place the day after the presidential election in November.  Will anyone want to come and see it?

Guess we will have to wait and see.

#150 - Covid has left the building!

Finally got to sleep in my own bed again with my own husband, since his test yesterday was Negative!  I've never been so relieved.  Life really did get put on hold in a way.  Now, it's full steam ahead.

Today, I hope to spend time with my best friend before she leaves the area permanently.  And tomorrow I have a callback for a show that sounds really funny but I'm not sure about the overall direction.  And I'm not sure that Theatre has really returned to my life.

Spending a lot of time thinking about my script(s), and I rewatched the feedback from my pitch at the Castle, and typed up the notes.  Things I realized rewatching that:

1.  I am a writer, and a good writer.

2.  I know how to craft marketing material, and how to present it.

3.  I have to look at the overall of the script and the characters and their arc; why would someone want to watch this?

4.  Most important note of all:  characters must be compelling.  We must find commonality and a reason to want to root for them, warts and all.

Sigh.

I need to rework my other script; the one I'm planning to send to my mentor. It needs more depth; it needs to be something that catches the reader, and something that's producable.

At least today I'll receive the Frangos, and I have to craft a wonderful thank you to my Mentor, and then send them off.

This month is going to be on steroids, and I know it.  At least we don't have to kick Covid around anymore!

#149 - Who can read the tea leaves?

Had an audition/callback yesterday for a show that I'd love to be in.  It was the strangest audition.  One read, no direction and thanks for coming.  The best part was running into numerous old theatre friends and schoomizing and getting lots of info on things happening in the theatre circles locally.  Time sure will tell what the future will bring.

I wish I could be spending more time with my best friend and helping her out, but this COVID menace is hunkering around us, and until it's disappated, there's no going over there.  Hopefully there will be time next week before we sojourn off towards the edge of the River Stix.

See, when I'm around, I can actually jot off a few lines every day; now, to off a few boxes from the Vault Goddess and the Imperial Man every day - that's something to really strive for.

Oh, and I cannot control Mr. Covid in the other room, who insists on doing his weekly driving gig, covid and all ("I feel fine!").

Since I can't read tea leaves, let's see what the future brings.

#148 - Learning to be right on the writing

Trying to get off the COVID merry-go-round we're on (after this morning's testing, I'm clear, hubby isn't).  So even though we're sequestered where we were, the tasks have been flipped.  I'm masking and waiting on him, which is only right, since he did it for me for 5 days.  It is my hope that we'll manage to beat this thing by the end of the weekend (fingers crossed).

In the meantime, I'm doing a lot of thinking about the script that deals with the Vault Goddess.  Consistent feedback leaves me in a quandry. I have a good story, terrific characters, lots of subtext but NOT ENOUGH HIGH POINTS OF DRAMA/CONFLICT/STAKES before the point of change/point of no return/climax.  And that's where I need to delve deeper and write.  I know I must separate myself from the material in order to do so.

I think I must try some exercises using the characters and writing outside of the script, to try and amp up the stakes among these characters.  Also, I've gotten consistent feedback about too many characters, so I think I'll need to combine a few minor ones into one, and cut a few out as well.

I truly believe if I can master this concept of strolling into each scene and jumping out into the next, and learning to build small moments into big drama, I'll learn how to be a really good screenwriter.

The goal is to do this by the end of September.  Can I manage to make that a reality?  Let's see.

#147 - Decompression whether you want to or not

The best laid plans to write every day...

I really had hoped to journal here during the rest of my sojourn over the Pond, but the internet at the Castle absolutely sucked, and by the time I got to Bordeaux, I was full of wanting to fully explore Bordeaux.  Then, after my last minute why not upgrade on the flight home, I could feel a chest cold coming on. Nope, just COVID.

Hopeful that tomorrow bring 2 negative test results;  one for me and one for the hubby - he has started to feel not so good.  What sucky timing this all is.  But, we'll have to do what ever we have to do.

Tomorrow is the test I want to pass with a negative score.  And perhaps some writing will commence after that. I have been doing bits and bobs here and there, and ongoing chats with my Rocaberti Chez Loraine group, plus playing around a bit with final cut pro, which seems to be an upgraded version of iMovie.  Going to try and put together a very short (1-2 minutes at the most) sizzle reel for Beyond the Mask.  Really, it's just an excuse to tinker with the software in case I decide to try and make my own darned short film.

Let tomorrow be COVID free - for everyone in the house.

#146 - Just say cheese!

 After another fitful night sleep, I met my college chum and we went to the Somerset House to see their collection, then to have a quick drink before the Pick & Cheese *unlimited cheese on conveyor belt with some flavored accompanyment that went with each bite.  We had 1.5 hours total but didn't need all that time.  We were full after an hour.  It was divine!  Then the National Portrait Gallery where we saw the SIX exhibit about the six wives of Henry VIII.  Lovely.  Did a bunch of walking about Covent Garden, and then off to Rules, one of the oldest bars in London (1728).  Had lovely cocktails, then her daughter joined us which was amazing!  After that, we went to have some lovely pastas that we shared before they headed back to Charing Cross to train home.

Tomorrow, off to Bordeaux.  The castle and the experience awaits!

#145 - Hooray for Bollywood

Had a simply smashing day today.  Slept until 8:20 am after several fits and starts.  Went to the National Gallery which was simply lovely (and filled with loads of schoolchildren groups).  Then, popped into the National PORTRAIT gallery and back to the hotel for some painting before High Tea at the Savoy.  It did not disappoint!  Charming, beautiful and delicious.  Expensive yes, but the sandwiches were unlimited, and so were the pastries!  My lovely server Deepra was efficient, friendly and so accommodating.  Had two types of tea - one with savories and one with sweets - and indulged in the champagne, as well as the HIGH tea (which included a hot dish- amazing!).  Came back to the hotel for more painting, and then, a wonderful one night production called "Mrs. Kapoor's daughter's wedding 2 Mauritius.  A fantastic show with bollywood dancing, gurjarati dialogue, and a silly, funny overall mood.  The audience was filled with Indians, and I take it this has been done before numerous times in one night productions on the West End.  Back to the hotel where I did more painting, streamed a Netflix movie and had some leftover snacks with tea.  Now, I'm trying to get myself to sleep.  Ah well, making the most of my time in London town.

Tomorrow is the Pick and Cheese with my college chum.  One more glorious day in London before heading off to the castle!

#144 - Does anybody really know what time it is?

It was a rainy first day in London and now it's 2:53 am London time (but only 6:53 pm yesterday at home).  I was a bit whacked out from the flight.  I was able to get about 4 hours of sleep in chunks and so I opted to spend the big bucks to take a taxi to the hotel from Heathrow.  What a lovely place The Resident Covent Garden is!  Had my room ready, with a handwritten note in it.  The room is not too big but oh, it's beautiful, with a little kitchenette, fridge, microwave, hot kettle and one of those type of pod coffee makers.  Lovely towels, real glasses in the bathroom, and what a terrific location!  Right on the Strand.

I went first to the currency exchange;  got pounds and Euros which might not have been the smartest to do, since they first converted everything to pounds then some of that to Euros.  Ah well - it's only money.

Then off to the Jubilee Market (antique/flea market that's lovely)and found some adorable ephemera, came back to the room and rested (nearly fell asleep) before heading up to Dishoom for dinner.  Luckily, I had made a reservation so I didn't need to wait in the line, which was a block long by the time I finished.  And very happy to have brought home a basmati rice pudding for dessert, which I've just eaten.  Fantastic!

Then, I was able to catch a glass of wine in the 6-7 pm daily event in the small lobby of the hotel.  Everyone here is so very nice!!!  Drank some and brought it upstairs, watched some game show and then my favorite - The Repair Shop! - and did a first painting in my sketr journal.  All in all, a lovely day in spite of some rain.

Now, 3:02 am, full belly and ready for more sleep (I sure hope so).  Looking forward to tomorrow's fun.  I love being on my own this trip, though I was ready to punch the hubby when he mentioned - as he was driving me to the airport - that he wished he could be coming with me.   Grrrrrr!

Ok, one down, two to go before I head to the main event.

#143-It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no, it’s a solo adventure

Well, here I am about to embark on an adventure that has been in the works for almost a full year.  First, fun in London and a visit with my dear college chum, then off to the castle.  Yes, I’m actually going to a castle for a screenwriting retreat.  Finally will get some what I hope will be good industry feedback from some professionals.  That the hope.  Maybe even an industry connection or 3.  At least I know I will meet a wide variety of writers from around the world. The script?  It’s all about the Vault goddess of course.  And the rest of my siblings as well.

I’m going to try and blog each day.  And also do some painting of some kind.  After all, that’s why I’m bringing the new little palette with me.

And so it begins.  See you on the other side of the pond!

#142 - The only thing that's constant is change

 It has been a longer than hoped for hiatus from this blog.  

So much has transpired, and yet, it's only been just under 2 months since my last post.  

Yet, in that short time, so much has changed, with way more to come:

My dear sweet brother-in-law, who had been ailing for quite some time, had his health take a nosedive and it became obvious his time was very limited.  My husband flew up to Northern Washington and spent just over a week with him, with me and my (step)father-in-law flying up for a very quick 1 day visit.  The day after my husband came back home, his brother passed at the beginning of May, just two days before the celebration of life for their late Mom.  At that event, a hummingbird came into the entryway of the garage, and flew up against the shop light for almost 5 minutes.  I knew it had to be him.

That celebration was very sorrowful and yet a wonderful reunion of family.  My two (half) sisters came from Chicago, and my (step)father-in-law had his granddaughter, who he hadn't seen in probably 25 years, fly in from Missouri. Along with other dear family-like friends from Minnesota, it was a wonderful, painful, bittersweet celebration.  None of the family from Washington could come, and we did include those who were unable to attend by Zoom as we interred her ashes on their land.

Having had our oldest home for 2 weeks before that, and our youngest with us for a week afterwards was a wonderful salve for the hurt and pain of losing such a tremendous presence (and my husband's only brother).

After returning home,  our youngest gave us the most tremendous Mother's Day and 40th wedding anniversary gift, and took us to SingleThread, a renowned three star Michelin treasure that was just named one of the top 50 restaurants in the world.  It did not disappoint;  instead, it exceeded our expectations!

Then, after a lovely Anniversary day which began with looking at possible rings for us to get (we haven't yet), and a tremendous meal at our favorite French bistro in town, we began to prepare for a total re-landscaping of our front yard, which was just completed this week.  It's glorious, even though we had two days of near 100 degree temps (trying desperately to keep those new trees wet to give them a good start), it's looking amazing.

In the midst of that, I had three callbacks, only two of which I could attend and I have gotten a firm FUVM on one of them.  And not sure anything is forthcoming about those.  AND during that time, I finished and submitted my script for the retreat in France, and had a reading of my play by five amazing professional actors in my house, who generously provided so much great feedback, that bring it back to the drawing board.

And the cherry on top is my best friend will be moving to Boston in the fall.  I'm so excited for her, and it's great place to visit since my youngest is there, but it's going to be so lonely here without her.

I guess it's true - the only thing that is constant is CHANGE.

#141 - To quote my husband, "with Malus Aforethought"

Today was a particularly tough day.  Bittersweet.  I just saw a quote from another collage artist that summed it up for me:

"A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again."

Today, we said goodbye to our two Malus Floribunda (this photo from 2006). 

 A 60 year old majestic pair of Japanese flowering crabapples (ok, one was 2/3rd of the canopy and the other, quite diseased and only one third of it). When we first moved in, they were both large already, and created this amazing shade in the front of the house.  I remember those first years when the boys were young, and the bees would so overrun the trees in the spring that once you stepped outside the house, all you heard was "HUMMMMMM."  It was glorious.  I would always judge the state of climate change based on the amount of bees flocking to pollinate the tree each spring.

Fast forward to many years later, and a good third of the larger tree was overhanging our roof substantially.  They were too close to the house, and as we are about to redo the front landscaping, they had to go.

My husband apologized profusely to the trees last night, and I pet them and cried.  Before, during and after their swift removal.  I did look up how to honor a tree you were essentially killing, and so I said a few prayers to the tree, and blessed it for providing us so much happiness in its life.  We chose to save 4 rounds of cuts from the base, as well as about 6 pieces of assorted large branches, each about 8-10 inches in diameter, and about one and a half feet long.  I'm not sure what we'll do with them, but we'll move them to the backyard, to rest among the garden, along with several pieces of walnut from the dead tree that was there when we first moved in.

And as we plan to plant a few more trees, one of them may be another Malus.

#140 - I know why Inee wore housecoats

I have to confess:  I like not having to wear clothes.  Not that I am suggesting I'm a nudist.  Or would EVER want to go to a nudist colony.  No way!

Let me take a step back and explain.  My dear grandma Inez was lovingly referred to always as Inee, part of the necessary one word spoken quickly and usually together: Inee and Papa Louie (nee Louis, but always said in the french tone, never LEWIS but always LOUIE).  Inee often wore housecoats and slippers around their small one bedroom apartment in the Near North Side Budlong Woods neighborhood of Chicago.  She was a retail clerk and got me my first job.  He was a bricklayer and tuckpointer, and after his blue collar workday was over, would come home and often sit around just in his one piece cream colored long johns.  Inee would change into her housecoat and slippers and I'm guessing neither one wore much of anything else underneath.

Well, we got a hot tub during the pandemic (didn't everyone?).  I fought getting one, but the hubby really wanted one for his muscle issues, and so I relented.  Wasn't even going to go look at them, saying "I'll probably not use it too often, so you choose."  He insisted I come along to make sure I would like it.

We lucked into getting a brand new one that was a canceled order (and so we didn't have to wait the requisite 15 weeks that orders were taking at that time).  It was installed within a month, and boy, I ate my words after that first week.  I LOVE that tub.  I probably use it more than he does. Usually at least two times a day.  Sometimes three times, and once in a while, maybe even four.  And we'll often pop in during the non-summer months when it's late afternoon and getting cooler out. We always go au naturale.  Unless we have guests and then we are "forced" to put on our bathing suits.  So when it's just us, yes, we're just in our birthday suits.

And after I get out, and put on my "spa robe" (yes, we bought 2 for us, and 2 for our "guests" when they come), and my spa slippers, well, I just don't want to put any real clothes on again.  Not until bedtime, and then sometimes, I'll just sleep in my robe.  It's liberating and I love not having to put on a bra, and just let it all air dry under there.

So, now I understand why Inee wore housecoats.

#139 -- Getting down to business

Fun little exchange:  we recently attempted to change who (meaning me) would be able to be the primary on our little art business for banking purposes. The big bank was unable to do that, so we ordered me a new business credit card, and somehow that seemed to trigger some major "alert" on the account, with threats to close it if I didn't respond .  After a call, and answering 4 little questions, all seemed to be right in the world of big banking.  

I am procrastinating on compiling all the data for our little art business.  Virtual no sales last year but LOADS of expenses.  I have been getting lots of materials and creating lots of collage (and some watercolors too; not any more acrylics as of yet).  And I desperately need to SELL some art.  I have sold $13 worth for this year, but heck - it's already just about April and I need to manifest those sales!  Help me, Vault Goddess!

#138 - Creative directions

Sometimes I wish creativity came with instructions.

I have so many thoughts, they jumble up inside my brain.  I start many things, go down creative rabbit holes (and sometimes internet ones), and then emerge and recall where I was to begin with, but I'm no longer there.

I'm working on several projects at once.  I do tend towards multitasking, which not many can do.  Yes, I can walk and chew gum at the same time.  But it's the organization of things that sometimes get me.  I really am an Aries - I like to spearhead to move forward, and I'm really good at keeping OTHERS organized, just not usually myself.

Today I want to get back to pumping out more meat in my script.  I have to.  I NEED to.  I know this love letter/sometimes unflattering story about the Vault Goddess needs to be told.

I wish I could find that instruction manual, but it's buried somewhere in all the stuff in the Vaults: hers, his and mine.

I think it's time to write my own instructions so I can map out my emergence from it all.

In the immortal words of my oldest child:  Let's GOOOOO!

#137 - Where we lost #58

Well, another Super Bowl is in the books, and another loss by the 49ers to the Chiefs.  In spectacular fashion, in the last 9 seconds of OT.  Disappointing for a great year by our team. They led most of the game. Ever faithful by the bay, the Bang Bang Niner Gang just didn't pull it off.  The Chiefs did to them what they did to Green Bay, and the Lions.  I guess Karma is a bitch sometimes.

So, it's onward and onward now. Not getting to go visit my mentor at our favorite ice cream place today is a concerning disappointment as well. She is very under the weather, and suffers from lots of the physical ailments that can take a toll as we age.  She is still full of verbal and communicative spunk, and I sure hope she gets better enough soon for an in person visit.

And I continue februllaging away.  Want to set a short time limit on completing each work.  I want to do more with less and eliminate the inner critic so I just let is flow and let it go.  Also, I was so happy to get a mention from the Paris Collage Collective on last week's prompt.  And my final Postal Collaboration Project #13 for the Berkeley Commonplace finally came back to me and after much clean up from the water damage to it, and rearranging, I will be sending it off soon. So that's one upcoming exhibition.  I have some label art going off for another exhibition in Seattle.  So I guess my art is making progress.

Now most importantly - this week I vow to get back to the script and writing.  I really want to complete this thing soon. So I can seriously look at reviewing and rewriting and tightening the script.  My script.  The one that is part of be my legacy.  I am counting on it.

Speaking of legacy, I'm getting pretty tired of the overwhelming presence of the Vault around here, and must keep on working towards organization and elimination. Time for a game plan.  Discipline ebay listings. Sell off some of the excess ephermera, which I need to organize with better access for creation. And clarity.  And the pool table, which my husband misses; I know.  But this really has to be the year I come into my own. I want to get my kicks on my own Route 66, and I only have a few months before this trip around the sun is complete.

It's a new day in this year of the Dragon.  Let's put some fire out there. 

#136 - Creatively speaking

It's funny being on a vacation and waiting for the storms to begin.

So we are visiting family and friends in SoCal this week.  Arrived up the coast to our wonderful niece who was the most amazing hostess where we were escorted into our very own airbnb!  Had a fabulous visit to our favorite GOAT chowder restaurant (and brought some frozen with us down here), followed by a quick thrifting escapade before leaving to head down closer to the big boy's city.  I brought along my watercolors, which I haven't really been using much at all lately. Our lovely hostess here (timeshare corner top floor 2 br. unit with our own Rob and Laura Petrie beds, as well as a large rec room with pool table, 2 hot tubs and a large pool) has some amazing watercolor pencils, so it's been fun to mix it up with my palette of potted watercolors and her pencils.  Mostly drawing the ocean and working on perfecting the palm trees right outside the balcony.

As it's currently FEBRULLAGE, I did my daily collages in advance so I could post daily while we're gone.  I'm picking up more followers and having daily regularly viewed posts close to 50 people at a time, so my reach as an artist is growing.  But the most amazing thing happened yesterday.  One of the collage artists who I follow, as I love the vintage vibe of her work, posted a collage and I recognized a photo of the Vault Goddesses sister, Muriel.  It was from a Time magazine editorial in 1961.  She's wearing a ballet tutu and her husband at the time responded to a cruel letter to the editor written in response to her appearance on The Ernie Kovacs Show.   What a sign to see her in that collage!

There have been massive storm warnings, but down here as well as at home, but waking up this morning you wouldn't know it.  Beautiful sunny day with threatening clouds to the north (LA to Santa Barbara is supposed to get the brunt of this storm), but no rain, which we expected.  I guess later today into and through Tuesday, when we leave, is what is expected,

Since I brought along my portable typewriter (aka my Macbook Air), I'm starting to dive back into my film script.  Truly, I need to make lots of progress.

But the thing is to keep moving, and creatively as well.

#135 - And yet, another blog post

What a day it was yesterday!  

First, I burned the scones.  Luckily I had made a large batch and frozen them, so I could remake more.  Which I did. 

Then, we had a fun gathering of our friendship group (I believe it's going on almost 20 years together?) where we plan out next year's events. We try to do one each month, though half of the time it doesn't happen. But it's fun and of course, fun to see everyone's life progressions before our very eyes.

All this was followed by the amazing football game (phew) that was torturous.  I think all Bay Area sports teams love the torture.  But in the end, the Bang Bang the Niner Gang pulled it out in spectacular fashion in the last two minutes of the game.  We believe this year is the return to the Super Bowl dynasty; that's where my love for football started - that first year I watched them leading up to the first of many Super Bowl rings they achieved. 

And I was recently struck by the realization that I did another blog oh so many years ago, from January through June 2011 (https://todaysgarden.wordpress.com if you are so inclined to read it) where I went to my garden nearly every day and posted something about what was happening.  Re-reading those posts made me very happy.  I wish I could bulk download the photos (from several phones ago, and probably not backed up elsewhere) and re-work that blog elsewhere.  But then, there's SO MANY CHOICES of where.  One of our friendship group was telling me about substack, and that she'd just moved her blog there.  Really she had a "newsletter" but I think lots of folks who use substack do the same.  

But this blog, the Treasure Vault, is the longest I've done a blog.  I never was one to do journaling or diary keeping as a kid.  But I do love to write.  I have gobs of old poetry from childhood to young adulthood, and of course, the short stories,  followed by screenplays.

Ah writing.

Yup, I do need to complete the writing I've begun with this current screenplay.  I mean, I REALLY need to do it.  There's a time limit.  Pressure. And the possibilities that come with that.  I'm sure it's fated, but I have to get there. Not just because it's about the Vault Goddess, but because it's been a story burning inside for 16 years now. And a film I see being made, if only I could figure out the rest of the through line for the screenplay. It's as if I've decided to take a ride, and have the first part of the journey mapped out, and I know the end point, but somewhere along the way, I'm not sure how it's going to get me there, or even what the territory is that I'm going to cover to get there.  Maybe that's the beauty of it.  I need to think about the journey (i.e. process) and not so much the destination (i.e. the finish).

Maybe that's what daily blogging is for.  Keep preparing for many journeys, and not be caught up by projecting into the future, but instead, being in the now.  That's a terrifyingly beautiful place to be.

And just like that, I've done yet another post on yet another blog.

#134 and no, it's not about someone's address...

Wow.  I can SEE again.

It's amazing what taking out a nasty little cataract will do for one's eyesight.  Simply amazing.  I'm so happy that I live in the technological age where this is so much easier than it was 50 years ago.

The pre-op nurse, very nice, told me before hand, "don't worry, it's easier than going to the Dentist!"  To which I thought, 'are you kidding?  The dentist doesn't stick something IN YOUR EYE!'  But overall, all in all, it wasn't too bad.  

So I was able to do the vision board challenge this year, and am so very pleased with the work I put in and the board I came out with!  It's beautiful and embodies all I want to manifest this year (this or better in divine timing...and so it is). And the bonus was getting my best friend to do it too.  I think it will be remarkable for her!

Now that I'm over the first week of no bending and no lifting post eye surgery, I'm slowly working my way back into the groove.  Had my first return to art class, which is always fun.  And beginning to dabble in futzing with my script.  This week and next it's really imperative that I hunker down and take big bites into the writing.  I know what I want it to become, I'm still figuring out how to get there.

I did a mini splenk into a Vault Goddess box yesterday.  As always, interesting finds.  On the back of a receipt for work on the divorce kitchen stove, there was a short list of appetizer foods.  I realize this is the type of thing the Goddess would conjure up for a party or gathering.  I wondered if it was for the Big BD's Bar Mitzvah?  Just not sure, but it's going to become some fodder for collaging, that's for sure.  I have too much to not begin to use it and create, create, create!

Just as I let go of theatre, I got a text message for an audition for a show I can't do.  Instead of being really disappointed (as I might have done in the past), I released on it.  Thought, "darned, too bad but we have travel plans" and that was that.  Pat myself on the back.  And let that be a lesson to me.  Release should have been the word of 2024 for me.  Intuition is what I settled on, and maybe that's the key.  Use my intuition to really learn to release.

Ok.  Getting back to the french onion soup we're creating for dinner tonight.  That's what you do when it's cold and rainy and you're dreaming about the trip to France mid-year:  and so it is.  

And that number?  He's got snow now.

#133 - No, it's 35

Today is the celebration of my oldest child's birthday.  And I feel so grateful I get to celebrate it with him. Actually, he has to work today, but he's one of the lucky ones.  Remote work for the last 4 years continued into the new job, so there's a silver lining for him.  And us.  It makes him able to go anywhere that he has a solid internet connection to work.

It's been lovely to have him here, lots of low key hanging together, watching lots of sports (he does daily sports betting; sure wish he'd become rich already!), met another one of his old friends, and we've been playing 500 a lot.  Tonight we take him out to a new restaurant to celebrate. We'll be going to visit him early next month, and he's now looking for a new living situation:  his own apartment.  He's been living in communal situations since college, so it would be great for him to have his own place.  It's time.

Today I'm going to try and get some writing done, do more collage and do some exercise.  Replanting my garlic was taxing on this body that doesn't move enough.  I really need self-care to be a cornerstone in 2024.

I'm also gearing up for another vision board exercise coming next week. Not sure I'll be able to do the first day live, since it will be the morning after my eye surgery and I learned that my eye dilation will probably last through the 2nd day. Time will tell.  The thought of what I want my vision to be for 2024? It's sure got me doing a lot of thinking, dreaming, visioning what I want this new year to bring to me.  What I want to manifest more than anything is good health for the happiness I want to exude.  And monetary and creative success with my writing and art.  And theatre?  Hmmm...still not sure about what the future holds for that one for me.  But overall, this needs to be the year of the major Vault spelunking and purging.  Sell, donate, use in art - whatever.  I need to get on with the "get out" mentality of releasing the Vault Goddess and the Imperial Man's possessions.

Now - let me go carpe the diem!

#132 - The first after 123123

Happy New Year 2024.

It's a new year and a new....wait.  Pretty much everything is the same.  But perhaps what's "new" is the realization of things that have been and currently are and what might be (sounds like the ghosts of the past, present and future are lurking).

I looked and saw I had another "blog" I started many years ago, shortly after we moved into this forever home of ours. Today's Garden.  I have the link to the blog but no idea how to update it.  I'd like to.  Yesterday I managed to replant my garlic which had been in the wood raised bed we'd purchased and had in the top sunny spot in the yard.  A few weeks ago, out of nowhere, the bottom fell out completely.  It was as if everything just fell in one solid block.  Thankfully, that meant the garlic and its' roots were all intact.  

I was happy we managed to get it moved.  It's supposed to rain today, and I'd like to take small steps to accomplish what I had as my "new life task list" once I'd left the job I had before my final working for others.  It was this:

Daily TO DO list:

• Organize something
• Clean up something-House
• Write something
• Make some artistic something
• Dance/walk/exercise something
• Purge/donate something
• Work outside on something

I think it's a good target for everyday.  Yesterday, the first day of the year, I did that.  I organized my vision board thoughts and got the base done, I cleaned up the kitchen, wrote some more notes for my script, made the weekly Paris Collage Collective collage entry, took a short walk with the hubs, managed to toss/purge something, and replanted the garlic.

I hope that 2024 is a year where I can replant what needs to be done so it can grow, and I am unfazed by anything where it feels like the bottom falling out completely.

So hi there, 2024!  Let's make it the best year yet.

Kind regards.

#131 - The one where we resolve to have resolve

 Ok, well, it's only 2 months ago since my last confession...wait.  Wrong religion.

The 2023 Holiday Season is upon us.  So thankful we were able to venture to Boston to see the young one, for the big Thanksgiving (unless you're indigenous), and spent a lovely 2 weeks basking in the glow of his house, my grandkitties, his chosen family friends, and plans that an unfortunate stomach bug (by others in the extended family) upended a longer planned visit to them.  A short but delightful visit with my daughter from another mother and her loving husband. And the cherry on top:  seeing my baby's band do a live gig.  His music is so touching and visceral and I long for his success.

Now, a few days before the biggest "most wonderful time of the year" according to consumerism, back home with the older one here for a long visit, there will be lots of sports watching (GO NINERS), good food and drink, visits with friends, and loads of baked goods, which I've heartily enjoyed creating; particularly the artful sugar cookies using the little cookie cutters:

Still struggling to get through my screenwriting block, which needs to happen since my final script is due in May.  Not getting cast in a show I would have liked to do but frankly, I probably wouldn't have had time to do it.  Nearing the completion of a cycle of a collaborative collage project, which will be on display in the Bay Area from March through August. 

And on the horizon, 2024 and it's hopes and dreams and possibilities are looming large ahead of us, including overseas travel some still in the planning stages, and very soon: the medical procedure to internally window wash the dirt off my eye. by replacing the window. Fingers crossed for a good resolution to that one.

Oh, and it's That time of year.  After next Monday, we'll be bombarded by the "year in review" and lots of New Year's Resolution posts here and there. One of the writing prompts in my recent writing class was "Resolutions."  A part of what came to me was this:

Resolutions.  I’ve always despised that concept that once a year, we decide to change what we think we’re lacking in.  Now, I don’t do resolutions in that way.  I do vision boarding.  Resolve is an important thing to have a part of your internal reference tools, that’s for sure.  I think resolution must have the power of intention behind it, and the drive to move towards the change we want to be, or have, or become. 

I want to do all the things I want to do.  I have every intention to do so.  Does that mean I need to make a list to see that they happen?  Perhaps. And maybe 2024 will be the OFFICIAL YEAR OF THE VAULT.  We can surely resolve to make that a reality, can't we?

Happy end of the Winter Solstice and Happy New Year.  Just being realistic - don't think I'll post again this year...not unless I resolve to do so.

#130 - A post to be named later

Whew...been a minute, hasn't it?

Many milestones since the last time we were on this blog.  A phenomenal trip. Illness and recovery.  The passing of the high priestess of the family. Writing victories but not art entry victories.  A return to the stage.  And outside critters of all kinds.

Geez, how do we start?

Well, let's start at the beginning.  Trip of a lifetime in a way.  First, the UK and Edinburgh.  Dear old friend who was the most amazing hostess we could ask for.  Train travel to a magical place and a visit to see Nessie (nope, she didn't appear).  Then, Italy. It was otherworldly, stunningly beautiful, crowded, delicious, a dream come true.  Every picture in Venice was a painting.  Uffizi, Accademia with David (so much larger than I ever imagined), the Coliseum, the food, the trains, the raw beauty of the amalfi coast and ligurian Cinque Terre.  All of it was a breath of life.  Truly memories to cherish with our sons.

Then, back to reality. 

The youngest with a bit of a health scare that has settled.  The we'll never forget "their 'golden' sperm" video of my now late mother-in-law in her prime.  Being there as she passed.  Sitting shiva in a way with the 5 of us. Helping my (I've never called him my step) father-in-law try to cope with the loss of an almost 50 year partnership. Not getting accepted into an art competition.  Writing my first real screenplay. Then getting cast in a show that was close to the heart and virtually sold out the entire run.  The 2nd to the last day of the show being the horrific massacre in the middle east followed by the counter horrific massacre that continues to this day.  And the invasion of a raccoon that made us replace our cat door with an electronic one that still isn't quite working. And ongoing writing, art and travel upcoming. And just the last few days, a phenomenal experience of harvesting honey and watching the bees outside swarm to clean the frames.

Oh, and yes, a few sales of items from the Vault.  That's how this whole thing got started oh so many years ago.

Yup, it's been a minute alright...

Hopefully, to be continued more frequently? We can only try.

#129 - We do what we can

T minus 5 and counting…before we have liftoff!

In the meantime, we are doing all we can to be able to return home to a garden that is not full of 4 foot tall weeds.  That meant getting clever about how to suppress all the weeds in the pathways - the pathways that about 6 years ago, we have carved out and tamped down with decomposed granite.  They weren’t done exceptionally well, and well, grass and weeds have started to take over.  I mean, we did once upon a time have a grass backyard before we sheet mulched it into the garden (and pathways) it is today.

In any event, we came up with the best solution we could:  cardboard, layered with leaf mold (thank you for several years of that!), covered with wet newpaper, and followed up with about 1 inch of pathway mulch and another inch of cedar mulch.  It only cost about $100 and maybe 3 to 4 hours of our labor.  And that “deli” paper role I inherited from a friend came in handy when we ran out of spare old newspaper.  Now, we won’t come home to 4 foot tall weeds, except perhaps in some of the planting beds.  Hope to knock some of that out before we leave, and then perhaps we’ll come home to roses and flowers blooming.

It feels weird to not have tomatoes that I’ll buy from the Harvest garden sale this year.  Nor will I be planting anything edible until we return home.  At least there will be less to hand water by our wonderful housesitter this time.

Ok, back to it before the really hot weather hits.

#128 - Viewing differently

It's an interesting limbo to be in before a trip.  You're thinking about all the things you're going to do, and have to complete before you go. But as it gets closer, you start to think beyond the trip, to your return.  I've always called this phenomena travel projection - you project the trip before you go and then when your on the trip, you're projecting your return.

This trip, in particular, my goal is to be ever present in the moment. Not thinking about the before, or the what's to come, but being in the moment, that moment.  

Then there's the "advice" from others about what to bring, or not to bring. I'm working exceptionally hard on minimizing my travel items.  We are doing lots of movement and that means lots of schlepping.  I want to be able to be flexible and facile with handling my things (particularly that last stay where our place is up 3 flights of stairs).  And I want to feel good, and have energy and paint and enjoy my family and immerse myself in each location.

It's what I put on my vision board at the beginning of the year "the best way to visualize is to touch, hear and taste it."  Something to be cognizant of on our trip for sure.

#127 - Will it ever be Spring?

 So far, 2023 is all about the weather around here.  Or at least it was.  Rain every damn day in January, half of February and loads of March.  Finally, FINALLY, spring seems to be arriving.

I see it's been almost a month since my last post.  And shortly I'll be jetting across the pond for a long planned vacay and whirlwind tour around the UK and Italy.  Cannot wait.

When I return, writing will have to come center stage. I have to complete solid work by mid-next year.  It's not just a goal, it's a necessity or the thousands I've spent will go to waste.

Ok, if I could just get back into this daily writing habit.  Maybe I can target this as a travel journal?  Let's see how that one plays out.

#126 - Tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow beats its petty pace filled with ART!

 I just can't seem to stop collaging.  Perhaps it's the one media that really speaks to me. One where I can combine words and ideas and I do tend to use lots of humor and/or sarcasm (that's a family trait for sure).

The more I do this, and take on all these many "challenges" on insta, the most I feel recognized.  Each time I get a mention or post or repost, particularly on a challenge, I feel I've made the "list."  It's an awesome experience.  Validation. Worth. 

Ok, I do have loads of other things i must conquer today, but I've managed to get 3 days ahead on my self-created challenge and that feels great.

Now to get to cleaning, pruning, shopping capped off with a social eve on the pool table.  Life sure is good and I'm so grateful for all of it.  Particularly for ART in my life.

#125 - the one that costs lots of money

Well, it's two days in a row!  I even opened up my NANOWRIMO Novel to see what I'd done and how much I had to go.  It's a start.

The skies are bright and blue with NO RAIN today.  A first in over a few weeks!!!

This is turning out to be a busy, busy week.  So, finally got the lowdown on what's been happening with my car.  Ch-ching - $2K. Then, CSAA sucks.  We have to scramble to replace some insurance before our trip.  Oh joy.

At least we managed to get some lingering travel arrangements in place.  And we are going soon and have some exciting options my friend put forth when we venture to the southern UK.  Getting excited!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled collaging.  For now.  Ebay is also calling on the other line (or it should be... ). It's time to wrap up those loose ends and release that which no longer holds meaning to me (right, vision board???). That means the approximately 10-15 boxes of fabric to begin with...Yes, let's start there.  

Vault spelunking to commence.  

#124 - Which today should be 3.14

Happy PI Day,

It's been a minute again (make that 2 months) since I jumped back down into the Vault.  Funny to see what I had hoped for, and what has transpired.

Let's see where we are:  

• Though we did sell the Le Creuset French Press, otherwise we have slacked on the ebay listings (I realize it really does take time to list and bicker).   May get back to that when we return from our Europe trip in 6 weeks!
  
  
• Spent the month of February participating in Februllage, a worldwide collage challenge.  Have become absolutely addicted to collaging and created my own March Madness challenge.  This will slow down as I need to get back into watercoloring for our trip.
  
  
• Finally cashed in my "C" card and got Covid late last month. Was lucky it was mild except for the debilitating back pain issues.  It only lasted about a week so I feel very, VERY lucky.  And now I should have some immunity for our trip.
  
  
• Signed up for classes at the junior college that are free for older adults (Yyes, I guess I do qualify in that regard now - yikes!).  And got a free transit card good through 2024!
  
  
• Received a partial 1500 Euro scholarship to a writers retreat for my screenplay.  Decided to take the plunge and commit to it (an expensive gamble, but one that I hope will reap benefits!).  It's not until July of 2024 so there's time to complete the script and the other one I have.
  
  
• Will need to start WRITING regularly again, and work on that screenplay.

Hence, my return here.

Still look at that completed vision board almost every day.  I see things happening that I put down there.  Can't wait to see the whole thing manifest itself.

Let's have another cup of coffee (or perhaps the first of the day!), and let's have another piece of PI.

#123 - <=== It's as easy as...

New year, new focus, new transformation.

Removing old habits, old patterns, old attachments.

This is all so easy to say, but can I really make it a reality?  Time will tell.

Tomorrow I begin a 7 day vision board workshop.  I've already been working on finding those things that empower me, that drive me, that I want to manifest in the coming year.  

Yesterday I actually began the long journey that begins with a single step:  I started to list items from the Vault for sale. Here's a few of them:

 

Already got an offer on one Auction item (will probably let that expire and hope the person makes the bid instead). I'm motivated as the current Vault space (most of it in what I've lovingly called "The Interior Pod") will be the future art studio I need.  I haven't outgrown the garage space, it's just that we need to liberate the pool table for its born function:  to play pool.

Let's see what happens.

#122 - Clarity and Manifestations for the new year

Let's get clear here.

It's almost that time again.  It's actually one day moving into another but because we have this fascination with a "calendar" which follows the ancient changing of the seasons, it's the time of emergence back into the lightness.  The slow sluffing off of the past and the dreams of renewal for the future spring, when we can emerge anew.

It's time to manifest.  I've always been a great believer in that Manifestation 101 as my dear pal the sculptress calls it.  In order to properly manifest what you want, you need to be clear in your intention.  You have to know what it is that you want, and put it forth into the universe.  That sounds remarkably easy, but it's actually pretty hard to have that kind of clarity.

The original Vault Goddess has been making noise. She's in the background wanting me to be very clear.  And I agree:  it's time to release that which no longer holds purpose for me.  That includes the Vault Goddess' inventory, as well as the ImperialMan's stuff.

That's my clarity of focus for the new year.  Release.

Things coming to my etsy/ebay store soon!

#121 - It's not consumable

The holiday week is upon us.  It's so odd being on the outside of the noise and decorating and shopping and gifting.  I'm actually quite fond of it.  But it doesn't dispell the desire to bake, bake, bake. I have gingerbread dough ready to be cut and then decorated.  I made some gluten free pecan puffs for the holiday gathering we're off to over the weekend.  And tamale fillings are current being prepared.

BUT:  I'm just going to go paint.

It's strange to be on the other end of the consumption chain.  I mean, I have paintings I'm doing that I will want to sell and send off into the world, and in order to do so, I need someone to decide they want to consume them for themselves.  I think we're being very thoughtful about what we bring in to consume, whether its food, drink or other tangible items.

LATER THAT WEEK...

The intention was to get this posted earlier in the week.  It's Christmas day and I feel a sense of relief that all the consumption comes to a close today, and then it's on to "the year in review" bombardment for a week, followed by the "resolutions for the new year" week.

I just look forward to getting back on the regular hampster wheel, which for ME is no longer a grind of work, but a pathway of art.

That's ultimately what I want to consume.

#120 - Football fever

Ok, I admit it.  I officially have become obsessed with football.  Wait, not the NFL type (which I've been obsessed with since the original 49ers Super Bowl win after the 1981 season;  but that's another story).

I've become obsessed with the rest of the world calls Football: the FIFA World Cup.  I've never been a big fan of football/soccer, at least not since my son stopped playing it in elementary school.  I don't understand all the rules.  I don't get when it's officially "offsides" or what officially constitutes a foul.  BUT, I'm not sure why, but since both my sons have been avid fans, I guess we started to watch over the Thanksgiving break when my eldest was here.  And, unbelievable to my own self, I'm hooked.

Today's quarter final matches were the best ever, according to the pundits.  And oh boy, what matches they were, ending with penalty kick shootouts.  Two more quarter final games tomorrow and then there will be only 3 games left, but I will relish watching each one even though getting up at 7 am to watch is a bit much.  But I'll be doing it.  And I understand that the next World Cup in 2026 will be in North America.  My son tells me he thinks there will be matches at Gilette Stadium in Massachusetts, as well as likely here in the Bay Area and LA.  Good excuse to play a trip somewhere.  I would love to be there.

Until then:  Go Argentina.  Go Messi!

#119 - What does it mean to be prolific?

I've started to get back to painting again, but my dreams seem to be all about theatre these days.  Last night, I had an amazing dream not just about being in Italy, but going to see a play (in English).  And I saw the complete thing in my dream.  

I was just reading an article yesterday in the Sunday NYTimes Style Magazine about Adrienne Kennedy, a prolific black playwright who is finally getting a Broadway debut. And even though I rarely watch any awards shows, I did tune in last night and was so proud of Lizzo accepting the People's Champion honor by calling up 17 female activists and naming each one and what they support.  It was brilliant.

What does it mean to be prolific?  Is that really a subjective definition?  Am I prolific because I've finished 41 painting in just over 40 days?  Or would I be prolific if I did that while simultaneously completing some other body of work?

I've spent time this week doing more organizing of art materials.  I swatched all the colored pencils I have, first separating them into brand and then making small boxes of color.  Did the same for the oil pastels, and then the water soluble pastels as well.  I have a prolific amount of art materials.  I'm going to begin the process of creating scrap journaling packets to sell.  I think I'll find some archival plastic envelopes, and get appropriate sized ones so I can put together packets.  We will see what we can do to lessen all that prolific material.

#118 - The attitude of gratitude

Though Thanksgiving is now finally over (after a brief but wondrous visit with my MIL and FIL), I have been feeling this attitude of gratitude a lot.  The realization that, even with things now being right all the time, or flawed in many ways, I am so very, VERY lucky.

Now that my little man has returned home, and we have returned home as well, it's time to get down to brass tacks.  Or, more aptly, take off the brass tacks and let things go.

I did manage to get some watercoloring done during our northern visit (actually, not much more to do except chat, eat, and imbibe).  I feel I am becoming freer in my art, and don't think as much as just do. And I'm grateful for that. Now I want to figure out how to move forward in releasing these creations into the world.  And get back to writing.  It's been weeks since I looked over the play (no word from either bro on that one), and so I feel the world is a fertile ground for me now creatively.  

I'm oh so grateful for The Creativity Suite I have.  

Back to keep on keeping on.

#117 - The fall of Fall

It's that time of year again.  The lawn (grassless as it's been for years) is now one gigantic pile of yellowed leaves.  We've been raking and raking and raking leaves. They're almost high enough to jump into the pile like we used to do when we were little.

We've been putting them in giant piles, loading them into large moveable 33 gallon trash container and schlepping them to the back. Also moved the old leaf mold pile so we could begin a new one.  The gutters were emptied again (2nd time, but now most of the leaves are actually fallen now - the tree is almost totally bare).  

We've taken a few breaks because, damn, there's a LOT of leaves.  And it's very breezy out today.  And cool (temps not getting above 60, which for here is pretty chilly). The weather report shows 3-4 upcoming hard frost days.  Seems a bit early for those, but it's inevitable that they'll come.  And so the lime tree is covered and seems to be thriving in its mini greenhouse.  

After fall comes winter and dark and cold. Shorter days and Seasonal Affective Disorder for those that suffer. I can hardly believe it's almost the end of 2022.  At least there's only 30ish more days of darkness, and then things will begin to lighted up, very slowly but they will.

My little man (what I used to call him when he was born) has been here and it's been so wonderful to have his light and humor and his fine self in the house, but he leaves tomorrow.  After a quick visit to the parental units up north, I'll be anxious to get back to painting and writing and maybe theatre again (not sure how or when that might happen). 

All I know is that I'm oh so grateful for my family, my home, my livelihood in wondrous retirement, and most of all, the beauty of the Fall leaves.

#116 - Paradise lost - well, just the pumpkin pie

Lovely day of Thanksgiving with friends and family.  Missed my MIL and FIL but we will probably venture up their way soon.  Still enjoying having my first born home for the holidays (for a few more days at least).  I had even been able to go pick up pie and galette dough from the amazing Downtown Bakery in Healdsburg to use for my pie making (ok, the fruit galette is prepared and was flash frozen so we'll have that another time).

But - we had a minor disaster happen late Thanksgiving eve.  My hubs was shifting leftovers around in the fridge and came and told me that while he was arranging, the glass pie pan holding my precious three-quarters of leftover pumpkin pie slipped and fell out of the fridge, shattering the pan and destroying all of the leftover pie with the glorious crust.  It was one of the best pies I think I'd ever made.  And I only had one small slice that night.

Now, I'm a devotee of the leftover pie for breakfast the next day.  I would have had it with some of the bourbon whipped cream that was also left over from Thanksgiving evening.

At least I can give thanks for having a roof over my head, family and friends and a lovely meal with awesome wine and some glorious desserts to have shared on the day.

As it's still the "holiday" weekend, we're off to the movies now.  

#115 - Revising art again

Happy that today I'll be heading into the City by the bay (yeah, that one) to see for a 2nd time an amazing exhibit by the phenomenal couture designer Guo Pei. She is truly amazing and the first time I saw these amazing works I was blown away.  Really.  Unbelievable art and the amount of time each dress or shoe or look took to make is listed (some were 10,000 hours of work).  Remarkable.

I also did a dive off the short board into Acrylic Abstract Collage art on youtube.  As that's kind of what I've been doing, I wanted to see others techniques.

Yesterday was a non-art clean the house and take out the trash day, and I couldn't get motivated to paint at all.  I think when I get back from the City, I'll be energized and ready to dive back into the paint pool.

27 canvas' completed.  Let's see how many more I might finish by tomorrow evening when my men come back home.

#114 - How can we ever be really prepared?

The key to life is all about properly preparing, isn't it?  Yet some things you can never be prepared for.

My husband's youngest step-brother (but only 2 years older than my husband) passed away this week.  We had no idea he was even sick. He didn't want anyone outside his wife and sons to know.  Not even his brother he'd spoken to almost daily.  He'd had an aggressive form of cancer and went downhill very, very quickly.  My husband is flying down today for tomorrow's funeral.  I chose to stay behind.

I'm slowing down on the painting, as I'm getting wound up for the big Thanksgiving feast.  

It's not Thanksgiving without the turkey candle.  I don't know when I bought it, but it's graced our table every year for at least 25 of them.  When we were cleaning out the boys stash, we found the delightful little sign created by my youngest (probably 3rd grade or so?).  

Now, the sign and candle will inextricably be united in holiday decor for years to come.

A few road blocks have come along this week (or is it that they've opened up?).  Dental cleaning? Canceled due to the hygienist being ill.  Meeting a former co-worker? Put off due to the death in the family. Possible trip to Marin? Postponed by the one I would have been visiting.  

Well, now I can get prepared for the week to come. At least as much as we can be prepared, for none of us knows what tomorrow brings.  But we move along as if we have many things coming up on the horizon, and we continue to act, and make lists, and plan.

Better go get prepping!

#113 - Welcome to the Creativity Suite

Apparently, I have been creatively energized, at least as far as using acrylics and following part of the art workshop I attended.  Well, I am truly utilizing only bits and dits of the process, but I'm sure enjoying what I'm doing.

All this at the expense of writing in the month of Nanowrimo no less.

In just over 10 days, I've created 24 paintings.  All but 2 on 9 x 12 paper.  I haven't sealed or waxed them at all, and that's a new part of the process for me. I had a great weekend with my MOH doing painting and decoupage/collaging small tins - loved the one she did, but mine?  Not so much.

Today is an open book, after the dental cleaning.  Let's see how many more paintings I manage to squeeze in this week.

#112 - It's getting cold in here...

Well, Fall is falling into Winter pretty quickly.  Lots of falling leaves, and we had gotten 1.75" of rain by yesterday morning.  Then, it rained again.  Haven't checked the rain gauge yet - it's still pretty early and though Daylight Savings Time started on Sunday, it's still only 5:30 am so the lightness is only about to begin shortly.  Plus, now there's frost warnings.  It's getting cold in here!

It fills me with happiness that I have a real art space that I'm working out of these days.  Have tried for years to have a dedicated spot for creating art, and though it's part of the multipurpose garage/pool room/License2spell art space, etc., etc., etc...it's invigorating to have it and use it most of all.

And while my other half heads off to the mountains (let's go, good weather!) I'm looking forward to an art date with the MOH coming up in 2 days.

Better put on some warm stuff to paint in.

#111 - Details to follow

Well, it's that day again - Mid-Term Election day.  Probably won't know the full final results but there's a few things to be happy about, that's for sure.  Hoping to see that blue wave...

In the meantime, I continue to paint as we continue to organize, which is the first step towards purging.  Believe it or not, we managed to find a really good looking black file cabinet (5 drawers no less) to put all the photos/cameras/picture frames into for now.  Also picked up a small two drawer wood one that matches our other cabinet well.  Now it's less likely to look like we're packing to move out.

On to the rest of the house, and particularly the room I'm now calling our in-house POD.  Yup, the Imperial Man's vault of goodies needs to work it way out of our home, so we can repurpose that into a home office/2nd guest room.

And I continue to paint.  I've done 10 paintings a la style of Jesse Reno.  It's a great exercise.  I have to make a new sign, as I'm thinking about calling the art space "THE CREATIVITY SUITE" going forward.

The only thing I haven't done is continue to write.  I guess the 'one creative outlet at a time' rules apply.

Except I did remember to write this one.  Now, back to the studio...

#110 - Wandering in search of ourselves

Yesterday I finally got back to painting and it felt really good.  I used the leftover paper from the workshop I attended and applied paint, color, smudged paint to the outside edges and then broke it up with paint again.  Next, I'll go back and enhance what was revealed.  I also decided to do the same with a smaller 9 x 12 canvas (happy I purchased the bristol paper and the collapsable water container last week).  And that one, I think I have finished.  Easier for me to work on smaller canvases.

This whole new use of acrylics is like stepping into the Emerald City.  So much to learn and different uses for paint, mediums, brushes, and overall creation.  I even painted a quick postcard using my new watercolor palette. I look forward to a time soon when I will have released on all these things that make me feel encumbered;  things that belonged to the Imperial Man and the original Vault Goddess.

I've also been re-reading my script (thank you my dear friend Daphne for all the awesome feedback).  Today might be the day I send it off to my brothers, and then I'll begin some actual editing and writing.  Surely getting closer to digging back into the screenplay as well.

All this in the hopes that I'll find myself and stop wandering aimlessly so much.

A postscript - After we mounted some chairs on the wall of the garage (since there's no room for them anywhere else), this appeared on the floor.  It had been knocked off the mannequin body where it was hanging:

There she was, in all her glory.  She actually KNEW who she was.  An oh so timely reminder from the original Vault Goddess.  Thanks, Mom.  LYM.