This last weekend was my 50th high school reunion. I didn't go. I went to my 30th, and once was enough for me. I had very few lasting friendships in high school, and in spite of my theatrical background, I never performed in a show - only did readers' theatre and my own directorial special project for independent credit. Still, I garnered the Wanda B. Mitchell Speech Arts Award (one of 2 or 4 who received the honor) for my contributions to the theatre department at ETHS.
I've seen lots of photos on social media from this weekend, and realize I know so few of these people. Or perhaps it's my own lack of memory about those years, and the pain of being an outlier, one of those quiet socially awkward types who didn't garner long lasting friendships during those years. Except for my two close friends, neither of who are connected on the alumni networks or social media at all (nor to myself anymore), I recall some names, but no real understanding of my connection to them. Or memories of those years.
Back to the present time, my best friend's big move is about to begin. Her car is on it's way and will arrive at her home location tomorrow; the pod is on it's way and arrives in a week and half, and we arrive in two days.
I've been sorrowfully looking at my neglected garden - full of promise but not much to show except weeds, though actually some things HAVE grown, ripened and bloomed, and some of them aren't even weeds (or as my dear friend Katy would say, "habitat."). Another year of potential that hasn't (due to so many days and weeks away) lived up to its promise, in spite of a plethora of sungold tomatoes. I think my 2025 vision board needs to be more proactive on the garden oasis I want.
I have been doing lots of thinking and dreaming about films, and writing and screenplays. I have so neglected my own things to put my dear sister/best friend front and center. And the last big trip of this year (I think) will make it worthwhile. We'll get to go to some great places, do some art, and I'll get to see my youngest. It will be wonderful and when I get back, I will take some really deep breaths, and dig back into myself and my journey.
Then, I will have to stop being so reflective, and become the active participant in my own life.
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